Character Building from KidsDiscuss.com

Parenting Tips ~ Getting Your Kids to Discuss Their Negative Feelings

Dear Parent,

Does it bother you when your child feels bad about himself? Would you like parenting tips on teaching your child to deal with his feelings? Inside are some parenting tips he you can use today.

Does your child say things like?

"I hate being me."

"I'm so stupid."

"I feel sad."

It hurts to hear our precious children say out loud the mean thoughts they have about themselves. If only there was a magic wand to change their thoughts for the better.

We get our feelings from our thoughts. When we think badly about ourselves, we feel bad too. To change our feelings we must change our thoughts.

When your child seems down in the dumps, sit down and talk with him. Be kind and patient. Like many people, your child might want to hold on to his sad thoughts and feelings. You might have a conversation like this:

"Honey, what's the matter?"

"I'm so stupid."

"Why? What happened?"

"My teacher asked me a question about my homework. It was easy but I couldn't answer it. Everybody laughed at me."

"Why didn't you know it?"

"I studied the wrong chapter."

"Everybody makes mistakes like that. It doesn't mean they're stupid."

"I know but I still feel stupid."

"It sounds like you feel embarrassed too."

"Uh-huh."

"Ask yourself, 'What am I telling myself to make me feel stupid?'"

"Things like, "I don't know anything. Everybody's mean. I hate school."

"Do you want to keep these thoughts?"

"No."

"Ask yourself, 'Are these thoughts true?'"

"Not really."

"Then ask yourself, 'What's a better way for me to think and feel?'"

"Everybody makes mistakes. I'm not stupid. I just studied the wrong chapter."

"Hold on to those thoughts and your feelings will get better too. Let's talk a little later and see how you're doing."

Sometimes as parents, we feel pressed for time and don't try to find out what's wrong. If we take the time, we can help our child learn how to handle their feelings. Of course, we need to practice the clear thinking that leads to better feelings in our own lives too. When we're good examples, our children will follow.

Consider creating a picture for the refrigerator that says, "Everybody Makes Mistakes." Talk about it the next time your child feels down.

How do you encourage your child to feel better? Let me know at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

 

Parenting Tips ~ How to Help Your Child Become a Positive Thinker

Do you need parenting tips on helping your child challenge his negative thoughts? Inside you'll 3 negative statements and how to challenge them.

Does your child say things like?

1. "I never win."
2. "Nobody cares."
3. "I feel terrible when the kids tease me."

Let's take number one, "I never win." Respond to your child by asking, "Never?" Remind him of the many times he's already won. Let him know when he says "never" it's almost always untrue. There aren't many things we can say "never" about and be telling the truth. After that ask, "Never?" whenever you hear him using that word.

Now for number two, "Nobody cares about me." Again, respond to your child by asking, "Nobody?" Remind him of the people do love and care about him. You're one of them. Tell him words like nobody, never, and always are exaggerations. When we use them in sentences, they exaggerate our statements. To help him stop using those words, tell him you'll answer him with a question mark whenever he uses those words.

Finally, let's look at number three, "I feel terrible when the kids tease me." In the counseling world, we call this "catastrophizing," which means treating events like catastrophes or mole hills like mountains. In other words, we think the worst. Help your child see when he mentally exaggerates, it discourages and hurts him even more because he feels like giving up. Words like "awful" terrible, and never" turn events into catastrophes.

Have a contest in which you both drop these negative words. The winner gets to choose a fun activity to do together.

One last thing, how do you help your child become a positive thinker? Let me know at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

 

5 Parenting Tips ~ How to Turn Your Whining Child into a Winner

Would you like parenting tips for changing your whiner into a winner? Are you afraid your child will waste her life drowning on the pity potty? Inside you'll find some parenting tips for helping your child become a positive person.

If your child whines and says things like:

1. "I can't."
2. "It's too hard."
3. "Nobody likes me."
4. "I don't know how."
5. "You don't love me."

Do you bend over backwards trying to boost her self-esteem? Do you ever wonder if she's manipulating you? Do you feel powerless to help her? If so, here are some suggestions:

Sit down and have a friendly discussion over a snack. Keep your cool. Talk to her about the problem. Ask her these questions:

1. "Would you like to be happier?"
2. "Is your negative thinking helping you?" (Give examples.)
3. "Is your negative thinking hurting you?"
4. "If you don't change your negative thinking now, how will your life turn out?"
5. "What kind of thoughts do you need to practice to be happy?"

Tell her you want to help her. Ask her to tell you when she thinks the happier thoughts. Praise her every time you hear her talk like a winner. Make sure she hears you talk like a winner too.

Do you have suggestions for turning your whiner into a winner? Share your ideas with me at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Check out my Thought-Stopping Kit and help your child earn awards for turning whining thoughts into winning thoughts.

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

5 Parenting Tips – Are You Raising a Little Commander?

Dear Parent,

Would you like some parenting tips to lessen your child's commands? Are you frustrated when your child gives you orders? Inside you'll find 5 parenting tips for handling demanding kids.

When your child commands you to do his bidding does he ever yell?

1. "You should do this…?"
2. "You shouldn't do that…?"
3. "Get me this…"
4. "I want…"
5. "Don't tell me to…"

If you're raising a little commander, it's time to make some changes. You'll be doing him a favor, his teachers, friends, and family too.

5 Parenting Tips for Handling Little Commanders:

1. Stop doing his bidding.
2. If he demands something, tell him to either earn it or do it himself.
3. Ask him if he's the "King of the Universe." Tell him when he demands you give him whatever he wants; he's acting like the "King of the Universe." Talk to him about it. Let him know why demanding things from you won't work. Role-play with him how to ask politely.
4. Create a chart to count the number of times he asks for things nicely. It still won't mean he'll get what he wants, but it will help him become more respectful. Give him a star for each polite request. Each time he earns 3 stars, offer him a fun activity with you, like playing a game of cards.

   If you need a good ready-made chart, pick up my Character Building Kit . It has a great chart for building positive behaviors and 80 fun rewards that won't cost you a penny.

5. If he still commands and demands, tell him to write out or draw 3 better ways he could have asked you. He won't like it. But it will make him stop and think about being polite the next time.

If you have a commander in your home, how do you handle the demands? Let me know at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

3 Parenting Tips ~ What to Do When Your Child Is Too Sensitive?

Would you like parenting tips if your child cries too much and acts emotionally hurt too often? Does comforting her increase her sensitivity and crying? Inside you find 3 parenting tips for lessening her tearfulness.

Let's face it some kids are more sensitive than others. If you have a child who is over-sensitive, do you hear these words?

1. "I don't do anything right."
2. "I'm no good."
3. "You don't love me."
4. "I can't."
5. "They might laugh at me."

Maybe your child doesn't say anything but just cries. I know this can be frustrating. What can you do?

Try these 3 Parenting Tips:

1. At times when your child is calm, like after you've read a book to her, fed the animals, or picked up the toys together, ask her, "How do you feel about crying when things go wrong?" Find out what she thinks and feels. If she can't express herself with words very well, have a piece of drawing paper ready. Ask her to draw her feelings about crying and then explain her picture.
2. Ask your child if she'd like to cry less and use words more. If so, would she like get a reward for speaking instead of crying?
3. If she answered, "Yes," create a chart together. Post it on the family bulletin board. Each time she speaks instead of crying when things don't go her way, give her a star. When she earns 5 stars, reward her with fun times with you.

Let me know if you use these tips and if your child's over-sensitivity lessens at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

3 Parenting Tips ~ Changing the Blaming Child

Does your child shout, "It's your fault?" Are you tired of being blamed when things go wrong? Inside you'll find some parenting tips on what to do when your child blames.

5 Common Statements Parents Hear When Their Child Doesn't Take Responsibility Include:

1. "You never …"
2. "You always…"
3. "You made me…"
4. "It's not my fault…"
5. "You should've…"

The problem starts when your child won't take responsibility for his part in problems. What can you do?

3 Parenting Tips for Helping Your Child to Quit Blaming Others for His Mistakes:

1. Find out what your child's self talk. Ask "Do you think getting in trouble for your mistakes is terrible?" Ask your child this question when things are going well like driving in the car, going for a walk, or washing the dishes together. Using a peaceful time to discuss the blaming problem makes it easier for him to tell you the truth.
2. Explain how much you admire him when he takes responsibility for his mistakes. The next time he admits his part in a problem, praise him. Let him know how much you respect his honesty.
3. With your child gather pictures of friends and relatives. Post them on the refrigerator. In the center of the pictures write the words, "Nobody's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes." Discuss the fact that everyone's a mistake maker even his friends and relatives. Tell your child when he admits his mistakes, people will like and trust him more.

Give these 3 parenting tips a try and let me know the results at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become a confident parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

Parenting Tip ~ One Special Way to Bond with Your Child

Dear Parent,

Here's a parenting tip you can use today. It helps you connect and bond with your child. When you connect and bond with fun activities you influence your child's character. Let me know if you already do this:

Rub Your Child's Back for 15 Minutes:

Why? Your child loves it. It offers special time for your child to talk with you, to have simple discussions, and to giggle together.

Your child loves your affection and wants to be close to you. Rubbing his back prompts him to confide in you. You learn the things your child is worrying about. This is an opportunity to help your child. Your child will trust you too.

Don't forget to share jokes and funny stories too. Laughing together creates wonderful bonding time that strengthens your relationship.

Do you rub your child's back? If not, what do you do to spend fun time together? We'd like to share your ideas too. Write to:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

3 Parenting Tips on Using TV as a Powerful Tool

Dear Parents,

Would parenting tips on how to use television effectively help you? If you worry your child is going brain dead watching TV, consider the 3 parenting tips below.

Television can be a very powerful learning tool. It is being used more and more in the classroom to inform students and stimulate discussion.

Teachers often assign students to watch an educational television show as homework. Television can be used to add to what is being studied at school. As a parent, you can also use television to teach ideas and values that are important to you.

____________________________________________

Here are some things you can do at home:

• Limit television viewing time. Remember that when children watch television it takes them away from other things such as homework, sports, and fun with friends and family.
• Monitor what your children watch. Encourage your children to choose programs that make them think, teach lessons, are free of violence and sex, and show characters who have values similar to yours.
• Watch television with your children. Ask questions: Why do you think that person did what he did? Would you have done the same thing?

Much of what television offers distorts life. You don't want your child's mind distorted too. Yet you can use TV as a powerful learning tool at home. How do you use television in your home? Leave me a comment. I'd like to know.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

5 Parenting Tips for Building Character with a Homework Checklist

Would Parenting Tips about homework be helpful? Use the Homework Checklist below to set the scene for doing homework.

Homework takes self-discipline. Self-discipline builds character in kids. Use this Homework Checklist to get your child started.

Homework Checklist:

Make Sure Your Child Has:

• A quiet place to work with good light.
• A regular time for homework.
• Basic supplies, such as paper, pencils, pens, markers, and ruler.
• Aids to good organization, such as an assignment calendar, book bag, and folders.
• No television, loud music, and lots of interruptions.

When your child studies in a quiet place, it will help him focus. Focusing on his homework increases his self-discipline. Self-discipline builds character.

Do you use a homework checklist for your child? How is it working? Leave a comment and let me know.

If you'd like to chart your child's homework progress, consider picking up my Character Building Kit It will help decrease whining about homework too.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

3 Parenting Tips that Build Character with Tests

Dear Parent,

Would parenting tips on how to explain the importance of testing to your child be helpful? Building character includes taking tests. Successes are easy to enjoy. Failing is painful. Testing helps your child act responsibly, study, and keeping trying no matter the outcome.

If your child complains about tests, use the 3 parenting tips below. Be positive about testing too.

Talk to your child about testing:

1. Explain that tests are yardsticks that teachers, schools, school districts and even states use to measure what and how they teach and how well students are learning what is taught.
2. Most tests are designed and given by teachers to measure students' progress in a course. These tests are associated with the grades on report cards. The results tell the teacher and students whether they are keeping up with the class, need extra help or are ahead of other students.
3. The results of some tests tell schools that they need to strengthen courses or change teaching methods. Still other tests compare students by schools, school districts or cities. All tests determine how well a child is doing in the areas measured by the tests.

Having been an elementary school teacher, tests helped me see how I was doing, what the children needed help with, and figure out better ways for them to understand. I believe that tests are important yardsticks.

What do you think about tests? Leave a comment or email me at:

Jean Tracy's Email

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS