Character Building ~ The 4 Secrets for Discussing Moral Dilemmas with Kids

Parenting Tips by Jean Tracy, MSS, for grades K-6:

Parenting Skills – Today's agenda for Building Character:

• In my last post, we discussed the key question to ask with moral dilemmas and why it is so important to build character in children at an early age.
• Today we'll discuss the 4 secret strategies for discussing moral dilemmas with your kids.

Character Building – 4 secret strategies for discussing moral dilemmas:

The first letter in each strategy creates the word PLAN. Hopefully, this little memory trick will help you remember each strategy.

• Probe gently.
• Listen carefully.
• Appreciate honestly.
• No criticism!

   

1. When you probe gently, ask just enough questions to get your children thinking. Of course, you'll want to structure your questions to bring out the best ideas from your kids.

    

2. When you listen carefully, you'll talk less. No lecturing. As you may already know, kids don't listen to lectures. I remember a dad in my counseling practice who admitted to lecturing his daughter two hours straight. When she tapped her fingers and rolled her eyes, he would yell, "Are you listening?" What do you think?

    

3. When you appreciate honestly, you'll find ideas and opinions in your kids' discussions for you to praise. This practice is called "shaping." When you approve of what your children think, they'll be more likely to keep thinking in the praiseworthy direction. Praising kids for their thoughts also encourages them to share more.

    

4. When you keep criticism out of the conversation, you provide an open and safe atmosphere to discuss what they really think. If you hear something you don't like, ask more questions to clarify what they said or take time outside of the discussion to think how you will approach the situation again.

   A wise person once said, "Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place." This applies to you and your kids. Your children need to place themselves within the dilemma to figure the best way out. You need to place yourself within the mind of your children to keep the discussion moving forward.

There you have it, the 4 secret strategies for discussing moral dilemmas. Try them and let me know the results. I'm interested in your opinions.

In our next post, we'll cover the 5 key attitudes to encourage in your children.

If you liked this parenting tip, pick up our FREE Parenting Tips - 21 of the Best at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com where you'll find them at the top of the page.

Subscribe to our FREE Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.

 

If you're wondering where to find moral dilemmas for your family discussions, treat your family to our Dilemma Discussion Kit with its 51 dilemmas. Don't wait. The time to build character is now.