Building Character ~ 3 Rules and One Example for Discussing Dilemmas with Kids
"Building Character Starts with Getting Your Kids To Talk."
Parenting Tips by Jean Tracy, MSS, for grades K-6:
Dear Parent,
When you have good relationships, with your children, they confide in you. When they confide in you, you become their confidant. This offers you the ability to influence their lives when they need your influence most. That's why I developed the Dilemma Discussion Kit with its 51 dilemmas to discuss with your kids. The dilemmas don't accuse your child about anything. In fact, the problems are about a make believe child. Use them and find out how discussions with your kids can be real eye-openers.
When you share the make believe problems in the kit with your child, you give them the opportunity to share their moral thinking too. You'll learn if your family values are getting through to your child. Here are 3 rules for you:
- Listen without criticism
- Compliment their good thinking.
- Get advice to say later, if you need it, from trusted adults.
An Example to Ask and Discuss with Your Child:
"Pretend your friend's mother told you she is sick of her son's whining. When he whines, you notice that she gives him everything he wants. What advice would you like to give his mother?"
See how non-threatening an example like this can be? Make sure the problems you discuss are not directly related to your child's behavior or he'll shut down. Treasure what you learn. Don't condone immoral thinking. Take time to think things through that you consider wrong before you comment. It could take you a couple of days for you to think about the best approach before you respond.
Consider This Approach for Returning to the Discussion:
"Remember when we discussed the problem with the whining boy and you said his mother should spank him every time he whines? Spanking might not be the best approach. Can you think of something that might fit the boys whining behavior?" If he can't, this is where you might offer suggestions to discuss.
Keep things simple. You'll be a great confidant if you do.
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If you liked the above tips, and want to raise kids with character, consider dilemma discussions. Let my kit help you. Pick it up at:
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With warm wishes for your parenting success,
Jean
Jean Tracy, MSS
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