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3 Parenting Tips ~ How to Discipline When Kids Break Things

Our last blog discussed 3 discipline problems when kids break things. You guessed whether each child broke things accidentally or out of disobedience.

Do you remember how Taylor teased the cat when the crystal vase broke? Christopher threw the ball and broke the dining room mirror. Katie dropped the salad bowl and damaged the bowl and the floor. The dog ate the salad.

As a parent, you have discipline choices. Consider the logical consequences below:

1. I believe Taylor acted out of disobedience. When you told him to stop teasing the cat, he didn't listen. When the vase broke, he blamed the cat. You could yell but how would that stop him from not listening and blaming again. I suggest you stop what you're doing, go to Taylor, look him in the eye, and ask him, "What did I tell you?"

   If he says, "I don't remember," tell him, "Go to Time Out and don't come out until you remember." While he's in TO, take the time to think up a consequence to give him. After he comes out and answers your question correctly, tell him, "That crystal vase meant a lot to me. Sit down and write out which extra chores you will do to pay for it. I'll let you know if your list is enough."

   Of course, you must be consistent in making him do the chores.

2. Christopher behaved out of disobedience and carelessness. You've told him many times not to throw ball in the house. He didn't listen. He did what he wanted. Give him the same discipline as Taylor. In addition, put all his balls in Time Out for a week. When time out for the balls is over, the balls stay outside. Christopher is not allowed to bring them in the house.
3. Katie's behavior was an accident. You tell yourself, 'This behavior is a rare event and she'll try hard not to do it again.' You turn to Katie, "I know it was an accident, clean the floor and the bowl. Try to be more careful next time." You decide not to discipline her further.

Conclusion for Disciplining Kids Who Break Things:

Parenting takes rational thinking. Sometimes you need to decide your child's motivation. Your decision will determine your discipline. Make sure you follow through. Next time you say something, they'll listen.

Our next blog will have 3 more common discipline problems about chores. Get them, by signing up at Parenting Skills Blog and they'll arrive in your email.

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3 Discipline Problems When Kids Break Things

How do you discipline your kids when they break things? First, decide whether it's a rare accident or a pattern that stems from disobedience rooted in impulsiveness or not caring.

If it's a rare accident, the consequences you deliver may be simple and straightforward, "Get the broom and clean up the mess."

If it's a disobedience pattern, then you need to be on the lookout for blaming ("The teapot was too close to the edge of the table.") or not caring ("What's the big deal? That's an ugly old teapot.")

How will you discipline?

1. Taylor teased the family cat. It backed up as its tail flicked back and forth. You called out, "Taylor quit teasing the cat." Taylor didn't. Within seconds the cat's tail flicked your crystal vase to the floor. It shattered on the tile. "It's not my fault!" said Taylor. "The cat did it." What would you do?
2. You've told Christopher, "Don't throw balls in the house." Today he tossed a hard ball to his little brother. It broke your expensive dining room mirror. When you moaned, "Christopher," he answered, "What's the big deal? You can buy another one." What would you do?
3. Katie was helping you put food on the dinner table. The pewter salad bowl slid through her fingers. The macaroni salad plopped on the wood floor. Your dog, Chum, ate much of it. The floor and the salad bowl were damaged. Katie cried and cried. What would you do?

Kids break things because of accidents or disobedience. The trick is to decide which describes your child. Your decision will determine your discipline. Take a moment now and decide whose behavior above was accidental and whose was disobedient. If it was disobedient, was the child careless, impulsive, or blaming. Please share your ideas below. I'd like to know.

Look for solutions in our next blog.

To make sure you receive it sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and you'll find answers in your e-mail.

Find out about my Discipline Stick and how to use it. Pick it up my Parenting Skills Kit. You'll be surprised at its effectiveness.

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3 Parenting Tips ~ How to Discipline Cursers and Get Respect

In our last blog we discussed 3 discipline problems when kids curse and use bad names. Ciera swears at kids on the school playground. The teacher wants you to stop her cussing. Darwin makes up mean names and taunts the neighbor kids. The parents forbid their children to play with him. Farrah curses at her brother and sister. Your home life is miserable. What will you do?

As a parent, you have discipline choices. Consider the logical consequences below:

If there's an adult who curses, yells foul names, or is sarcastic among your family or friends, tell them to stop. Your kids don't need bad models.

1. Keep in contact with Ciera's playground teacher by note or by phone. Get the reports on Ciera's cussing. If Ciera gets a bad report have her write "I will talk respectfully on the playground." She must write it 100 times in good printing or hand writing before snacks, playing, or TV.
2. When you hear Darwin yell bad names, call him inside. Give him a form to fill which asks:

   What behavior do I need to change?

   How is this behavior hurting me?

   How is this behavior hurting the neighbor kids?

   How is this behavior hurting my family?

   What am I going to do to make things better?

    If Darwin's too young to write or print, have him draw his answers.

    When he's completed the form, go over Darwin's answers with him. Get him to look you in the eye and say, "I promise to talk nicely." Notice this promise is positive. You want to move him toward positive thinking. Avoid promises like, "I won't call the kids bad names." It's negative.

1. Send Farrah to a boring room like the bathroom where there's no TV, computer, cell phone, etc. Tell her to stay there until she comes up with 3 better ways she could have dealt with her sister or brother. When she's ready, tell her to come to you and share those ways. Next she must apologize in front of you to her sister or brother and tell them how she could have handled things better.

Conclusion for Cussing Kids and Discipline:

 

I know these logical consequences take time. Yelling, arguing, and begging may seem easier. They have consequences. They encourage your child's negative behavior to repeat itself. Soon they'll be cursing at you too.

Training your children to be civilized is your privilege and your job. You can raise them to become people of character. It all starts when they're young. You have the power. Take it. Get the respect you deserve.

To help your children think before they speak, pick up my Problem Solver Kit. Get rid of the cussing. Enjoy raising kids who respect you and respect each other.

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3 Discipline Problems When Kids Cuss

Discipline is tough when kids curse and call other children bad names. They get attention, power, and revenge all at the same time. When the rewards are so great, getting your kids to change isn't easy. If an adult swears in your house, discipline can be even harder.

What would you do?

1. Your little angel, Ciera, cusses like a red neck. You just learned this at the recent school conference. The playground teacher reports Ciera cussing every day. You're expected to do something. Will you put Tabasco sauce on her tongue or wash her mouth out with soap? Will you spank her? Or will you take some time and think of a logical consequence?
2. Darwin, your 10-year-old, is a genius at inventing bad names. On any summer day when the kids are outdoors playing, you hear his sarcastic taunts. "Diaper head, pig eye, idiot brain" thunder from his big mouth. Through the grapevine you've learned several parents forbid their children to play with your foul-mouthed son.
3. Your Farrah, which means "lovely," needs a tongue bath. If her little sister steps one toe inside Farrah's room, the house shakes with Farrah's curses. If her little brother spills his milk, she bellows, "Look what you did, you stupid kid!" Your family feels trapped by her temper.

Take some time to think of some logical consequences for these kids. Remember your consequences must fit the crime. They must be kind. And they must be firm.

Look for 3 discipline tips about cussing and foul-mouths in our next blog. To make sure you receive it, sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and you'll receive the solutions in your e-mail.

To help your children think before they speak, pick up my Dilemma Discussion Kit. Get rid of the cussing. Enjoy raising kids who respect each other.

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Discipline - 3 Parenting Tips for Better Homework and Better Grades

In our last blog discipline and mud pie went together. When you discipline with yells, arguments, and threats, you set up the routine for more yells, arguments, and threats. Your family life becomes like a mud pie. The bigger portion is discipline that repeats itself. The left over sliver is tastier like fun activities. Why not make fun activities the largest portion and discipline the sliver? You can do that with logical consequences.

We also discussed 3 problems with children and homework. Kevin watched TV and ate chips. He hadn't started his homework. Emma handed in homework with scribbles and smudges. Robert "forgot" his homework. How will their grades improve?

As a parent, you have discipline choices. Consider the solutions below:

1. Kevin's homework problem is difficult because you can't be home right after school. Because you can't supervise his homework before you come home, I suggest you wait until you've been home for awhile. Grab a cup of tea. Tell Kevin to turn off the TV. If you need to, stand there with a serious face. Say nothing until he does.

   Then get into the routine of sharing snacks with him while you relax and tell each other how your day went.

   Next, give Kevin some choices. Choices promote power. Ask Kevin, "Do you want to do your homework before dinner or after you wash the dishes?" Only give 2 choices. Whatever he chooses becomes part of his daily routine. His grades will improve too.

2. Emma's solution is easier. She has to redo her homework until it's 80% better than before. Tell Emma, first homework then play. You'll need to be consistent. Don't give into begging. Stay kind and firm.

   Of course, just like Kevin, give her special relaxing time with you. Enjoy a snack while sharing your days. Then you can ask her, "Do you want to do your homework before dinner or after your chores?"

   Tell Emma, "If you do your homework carefully, you won't have to redo it. Show me how good your homework can look." Her grades will look better too.

3. Robert didn't forget his homework. He chose not to bring it home. "If I don't bring it home," he thinks, "I won't have to do it." What can you do?

   Set up a schedule with both the time and a quiet place to study. This stops Robert from watching TV while studying. It gives him a routine too.

   If Robert leaves his assignments at school, ask his teacher to give you extra homework for him to do at home. The only way for Robert to get out of your homework is to do his teacher's assignments at home. No more "forgetting."

   This should help Robert to remember his assignments. When he completes them, he won't get in trouble at school or home. His grades will get better. It's a win-win for Robert.

   One more thing, many teachers are internet savvy. They post the assignments on the internet. With Robert, go to the internet to view his homework.

Conclusion When Kids Won't Do Homework:

Don't let discipline become a large mud pie. Avoid arguing, yelling, and begging. Cut it down to a sliver by being logical, kind, and firm. Spend the rest of the time enjoying your child and his better grades.

Find out about my Discipline Stick and how to use it. Pick it up my Parenting Skills Kit. You'll be surprised at its effectiveness.

Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.

 

3 Discipline Problems – Sloppy Homework and Bad Grades

Disciplining with logical consequences cuts down on arguments, begging, and fighting. Think about it like a pie. When you're consistent, kind and firm, your child will respect you and follow the rules. Discipline becomes just a sliver of the pie. The rest of the pie is filled with fun activities like cooperation, affection, and pleasant discussions.

If you're inconsistent, yell, and fight with your kids when disciplining, then expect the co-operation, affection, and pleasant discussions to become the sliver. Discipline will take over the rest of the pie and that portion will taste like mud.

It's time to tackle a common discipline problem, homework. Let's brainstorm solutions too.

If These Were Your Children, How Would You Discipline?

1. Your son, Kevin, is home alone. Your boss threatens, "It's your kid or this job!" You leave anyway. As you walk in the door, the TV shouts, "This toy gives you hours of fun." There's Kevin, eating chips on the couch. When he sees you he yells and points to the TV.

   "Hey mom can I have that toy?"

   "Did you do your homework?"

    

   "Homework's boring."

   "Turn off the TV."

   "Do I have to?"

   What would you do if you were Kevin's mom?

2. Your daughter, Emma, hates homework too. Her teacher can't read Emma's scribbles and smudges. She marks her down for messiness. Emma doesn't care. Playing is much more fun. What will you do?
3. Robert's school back pack is empty. He "forgot" his homework again. With crackers in one hand and soda in the other, he rushes to his room to play his latest video game. What will you do?

 

Parenting kids who don't or won't do homework becomes a verbal war.

"Do your homework."

"Later."

"When?"

"I don't know."

Do you feel like you're losing the battle and the war? Your child is failing in school. He stalls, says, "No," sneaks out to play, won't turn off the TV. What can you do? Leave your comments.

Look for solutions in our next blog. To make sure you receive it sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and you'll find your answers in your e-mail.

Find out about my Discipline Stick and how to use it. Pick it up my Parenting Skills Kit. You'll be surprised at its effectiveness.

Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.