Character Building from KidsDiscuss.com

Discipline ~ Is Your Child Fighting Cell Phone Rules?

Parents, do kids with cell phones drive you crazy? How do other parents discipline when cell phone rules are broken? Finally, what would you do if these children were yours?

1. Morgan, age 13, texts her friends when you're talking with her, during dinner, and when you're having family time. She also sends texts after midnight. Her phone bills are outrageous. You're afraid to cut off her phone usage because she'll stomp and scream to get her way. What will you do?
2. Twelve year-old Caleb has an iphone. His teacher caught him texting his friend during a test and took his phone away. The school rules that cell phones are not allowed. Parents must pick up the phones or the phones stay in the principal's office. Caleb is pressuring you to get it back. He wants you to insist that he needs his iphone to be safe, especially when he walks home from school. Will you insist that Caleb keep his cell phone at home or be able to use it for safety wherever he needs it?
3. Ten year-old Caitlin wants an iphone like her older sister's. "It isn't fair," she cries, "Everybody has them. I need to text my friends." Will you give it to her?

   Many homes have cell phone problems. Maybe yours does too. Take some time to think through your solutions. Leave your ideas below.

   Look for our suggestions and solutions to these parenting problems in our next blog.

   To make sure you get these cell phone suggestions, click on Parenting Skills Blog and sign up.

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Discipline Tips: How to Get Your Kids to Stop Hitting

In our last Parenting Skills Blog, disciplining kids who fight, we met Riley who shoved her little brother, Koen who punched his sister, and Sean and Kyler who fought over TV programs.

Your job was to figure out the best discipline to stop them from hitting. How did you do?

Consider some of these suggestions too:

3 Discipline Suggestions for Conflicts without Hitting:

1. When the second child is born, the first feels dethroned. Riley was your "Child Queen" before Vance came along. Naturally, she's jealous. Of course, you still need to give Riley special attention. But how do you stop her from hurting Vance? How can you give her attention, praise, and motivate her to treat Vance kindly?

   Make Vance the source of Riley's praise. Catch Riley being good when she is playing with Vance. "Riley, you're playing ball so nicely with Vance." Or "Riley, thank you for helping me dress Vance this morning." Or "Riley, I like how you stopped Vance from fussing with your stuffed toy."

   You'll need to "Catch her being good" often. You'll be teaching her important social skills as you reshape her behavior with specific praise. Vance will love his older sister too.

2. Teaching Koen to stop punching his sister doesn't have to be difficult but it's crucial. Koen will grow up to be a physically strong male. If he gets away with hurting his sister now, how will he treat females later?

   At your weekly family meetings, bring up the problem of punching. Hear both sides. Tell the kids to come up with 3 ways to treat each other with respect and act it out with the rules below:

   Post These Rules for Solving Conflicts on the Refrigerator:

• Use few words
• Speak with a serious voice
• Look at each other directly
• Ask the other to act better by…(be specific)
• Take turns listening and speaking
• Act out a recent conflict to solve

Outside of family meetings, praise Koen and his sister when they solve conflicts without bragging and hitting.

If they still brag and hit, put them in Time Out. They must give each other permission to come out before either of them is free to go. Then tell them to use the rules for solving conflicts listed above.

1. When Sean and Kyler hit each other over TV programs you can use the rules above for Koen and his sister or consider this technique:

   When the boys are in a good mood create a calendar chart and put their names on it for the days or hours they get to choose the TV program.

Now it's time to give your ideas for kids who hit each other. The more solutions parents share the better.

Don't miss our next blog about discipline and using the cell phone.

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Discipline is Crucial When Kids Hit: 3 Problems Parents Must Solve

How do you stop your children from hitting? Time Out can be helpful. But are you looking for more solutions? Let's discover why some kids fight. Then let's start thinking about what to do:

You may realize your kids fight to get power, to get you involved, or to get revenge. Pretend the children below are yours. What's it like when you deal with these parenting problems?

How will you discipline?

1. Riley's little brother, Vance, gets most of your attention. Vance is the lightning rod for Riley's anger. When you're not looking, Riley shoves him. Vance falls. His loud shrieks call out for you. This happens almost every day. What's your first reaction?
2. Koen's report card is never as good as his little sister's. She gets the glory. Koen gets the lecture. He punches her upper arm whenever she brags and tells her, "You think you're so smart." You've seen the bruises. How will you handle it?
3. Kyler watches his favorite animal program. Then Sean arrives. He switches the channel to cartoons. The boys often switch channels on each other. That's when the hitting starts. It doesn't stop until you sort things out. You boil inside when they hit each other. You want the fighting to stop. What will you do?

Many homes have fighting kids. Maybe yours does too. Take some time to think through your solutions. Leave your ideas below.

Look for our suggestions and solutions to these parenting problems in our next blog.

To make sure you get these ideas, click on Parenting Skills Blog and receive them in your email.

I also invite you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for our free newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com

 

 

Discipline Tips: How to Get Your Child to Do Chores

In our last Parenting Skills Blog we met Adriana who ignored setting the table. She watched cartoons instead. We saw Justin avoid cleaning his room and run out to play. We heard Alex whine and drag his feet about walking the dog. The dog messed on the floor.

You thought of ways to get these kids to do their chores. Today we'll give you some of our suggestions too.

Remember, as the parent you have discipline choices. Consider the ones below:

3 Discipline Suggestions for Chores:

1. The next time Adriana ignores you and continues watching cartoons, hold your temper. Walk over to her. Stand between her and the TV. Stare into her eyes until she looks in yours. In a firm voice say one word, "Table." Stay in front of the TV until she moves. Don't react to her grumbles.

   When things are going well, ask her, "What are your ideas about solving the table setting problem?"

2. Call Justin to come inside. Say nothing. Use body language. Point to Justin's room. Stand at the doorway and watch him get started. Don't give directions. When he's well underway say, "When you're done, ask me to check it."

   When things are going well ask Justin, "How did you decide to play without cleaning your room? Listen to his answer. Then ask, "What will you do next time?"

3. Alex dragged his feet, instead of taking the dog for his walk. Now the dog's accident is on the floor. Say, "Come here Alex." Just hand him the cleaning materials without any more words. Point to the mess. Don't react to his gripes. Make sure he cleans it well. If he whines and says he doesn't know what to do, say, "I'm sure you can figure out a way." Avoid detailed coaching.

    Next give Alex the leash. Say, "Take Rover for his walk."

You may have other ideas. Please comment below and let me know what you think.

Don't miss our next blog on brothers and sisters who punch each other.

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Discipline Problems When Kids Fight Chores

Do you discipline your kids when they fight their chores? Or do you tell yourself, "It's easier to do it myself." If so, what are you teaching? The more you do your child's chores, the more your child will fight them.

Let's imagine the 3 children below are yours. See how you react to these parenting problems.

How will you discipline?

1. Adriana focused on her TV cartoon with wide eyes and open mouth. You call out, "Set the table, Adriana!" She ignores you. Are you going to set it yourself? Or are you going to make Adriana do it? This happens every night. What will you do?
2. Justin snuck out without cleaning his room. When you saw him outside playing tag, you rushed to his room. You stared at the disaster and felt your heart pound. Angry thoughts swirled in your head. Will you clean it for him? Or will you do something else? If so, what will you do?
3. Alex hates to walk the dog, "Do I have to?" he whines. He drags his feet. He takes too much time. Your dog has an accident. Should you have walked him? How will you handle this situation?

These common problems happen in many homes. Please comment below with your suggestions.

Look for solutions to these parenting problems and others in our next blog.

To make sure you get these solutions, click on Parenting Skills Blog and receive them in your email.

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