Character Building from KidsDiscuss.com

Parenting Tips for Whining, Character, and Logical Consequences

Are you using discipline that doesn't promote character? If so, consider logical consequences. Many parents use consequences that don't make sense. Consider what my friend and parenting expert, Kathy Slattengren, advises.

• Create a logical consequence that relates to the behavior and is not too severe.
• Create a simple logical consequence that is obvious and can be delivered easily and quickly.
• Create a valuable consequence that allows your child to learn from the mistake by focusing on the misbehavior and what went wrong.

I remember creating an illogical consequence that didn't promote character in my boys. When they complained about doing homework in that familiar whiny voice, I'd send them out to pull a bucket of weeds. They "pulled the weeds" and were at the front door in no time. From the top of the stairs that led to the kitchen, I'd check their buckets by nodding my head. They went off to play. All the kids in the neighborhood knew their speedy trick.

Now they're adults. They finally told me their dirty little secret. They filled their buckets with rocks and added a few weeds on top. They knew I'd never come downstairs to check their buckets. They knew I'd stay upstairs to fix dinner.

What was wrong with my consequence? Why didn't it build character?

1. It wasn't logical because it didn't relate to whining.
2. It wasn't obvious.
3. It didn't help my boys learn from their mistakes.
4. It didn't help them with honesty.

Here are some of Kathy's suggestions of what not to say or do when your child whines:

• "Stop whining!
• "I'm not going to listen to you when you whine."
• Ignore the whining.

Check out Kathy's 7 Priceless Parenting Classes. You'll find her expert advice on how to use logical consequences with whining, sibling rivalry, and other common irritating behaviors in lesson 5.

If your child has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, consider the program Stop the Bad Behavior! by James Lehman, TV's behavioral therapist.

If you need guidelines on practical parenting, pick up my Parenting Skills Kit and enjoy the confidence that comes with being an effective parent.

What discipline problems do you have? Let me know what you think by commenting below. I'd like to know.

 

 

 

Character, Kids, and Marriage: The Problem with Dictators

Is there a dictator parent or spouse in your home? If so don't let that dictator be you.

William Somerset Maugham got it right when he said, "A dictator must fool all the people all the time and there's only one way to do that, he must also fool himself."

When a parent dictates, s/he loses. Kids don't like being ordered harshly, hearing loud demands, and watching their parents lecture them with a stiff bodies and cold eyes.

The receiving spouse gets sick of the debates, lectures, and need to make things go his/her way.

If you're like many parents who grew up in dictating homes, you probably don't like hearing yourself either. The problem is you probably don't know how change.

There is an easier way. Find out more…

What can you do if your marriage partner is the dictator? How do you get your partner to tone down the lectures, demands, and debates? How do you prevent your companionship from dissolving, your love from dying, and gradually turning inward and away from your mate?

You don't have to be that dictating parent or partner and neither does your spouse. There is a better way.

To save your marriage and stop the dictating in your home pick up my free marriage e-course at Parents, Stop Fighting! Save Your Marriage Now!

At the end of this 5 week e-course, you'll receive my free Couple Meeting Blueprint to keep you on track for a happier home and a loving marriage.

 

What are your thoughts about dictating? How do you solve your marriage problems? Feel free to leave a comment. I'd appreciate hearing from you.

Sign up for Jean's Free Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and enjoy your family everyday.

Building Character with Chores for Kids

Dear Parent,

Would you like to build character in your kids through chores? Would you like your family to become a team and work together? Do you know how? Inside you will find 3 household chores for 9 and 10-year-olds.

Teach your boys and girls to wash and dry their clothes:

First, they'll need to collect their dirty clothes in one place like basket in their closet or a hamper.

Second, teach them how to fold their clothes. You might have to show them how several times.

Third, make sure they have a place to put their clean clothes and teach your children how to arrange them. It's as easy as that.

After they know how, expect them to follow through and take care of their own clothes. I know teaching your children to wash and dry clothes, fold their laundry, and put their laundry takes time. Yet in the end you'll save bundles of time because you're not doing their work. You'll be teaching them responsibility, a sense of order, and how to take care of themselves. They'll be learning these positive skills for life. You'll be building character with chores. The family work load will lessen for you too.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

If you liked the above tips, and want to raise your child with a positive character, discover the Chore Chart Kit. It has age appropriate chores for your kids. It helps parents worldwide teach family values. It can help your work together too. Pick it up at:

Chore Chart Kit

 Send me your parenting questions and I'll send you a parenting surprise. Just email your question to:

Jean Tracy's Email

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

Social Skills ~ 3 Parenting Tips for Building Character

Dear Parent,

Good Character includes positive social skills. With good social skills your child will treat others with respect and make lifelong friends. Look inside to find 3 parenting tips for teaching your child how to do both.

Social skills are easy to learn when you help. Role-play each skill with your child. Tell him to practice on other kids during the week. Then have him share his results with you.

Learn How to Teach These 3 Social Skills to Teach Your Child:

1. Look other kids in the eye when you speak.

   "Looking kids in the eye shows them you aren't shy and that you are interested in them. They'll like it when you look them in the eye as they speak. Let's role-play."

    

2. Introduce new kids to your friends.

   "This helps the new kid feel welcomed. Include the new kid in conversations too. She'll like you for it. She'll enjoy being your friend too. Let's role-play."

    

3. Take turns when speaking.

   "Avoid hogging the spotlight. Listen and speak. Enjoy having a two-sided conversation. Your friend will enjoy talking with you. You'll learn interesting things about him. He'll learn interesting things about you too."

Teach one new skill a week. Teaching your child social skills is a wonderful way to show your love. Social skills help your child make friends now and prepare them for the future too.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

If you liked the above tips, and want to raise your child with a positive social character, discover 47 other social skills in my Social Skills Kit for Kids. It helps other parents worldwide. It can help you too. Pick it up at:

Social Skills Kit

Send me your parenting questions and I'll send you a parenting surprise. Just email your question to:

Jean Tracy's Email

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

Character Building ~ 3 Parenting Tips about Chores for Kids

"Building Character Starts with Getting Your Kids To Talk."

Parenting Tips by Jean Tracy, MSS, for grades K-6:

Do your children skip out on their chores? Have you ever put folded laundry in your child's room, and found his unmade bed? If so, were you disappointed or mad? Inside you'll find parenting tips for teaching your child to work before play.

Parenting Tips for Getting Your Kids to Do Their Chores:

• Talk to your child about how you felt when you found his unmade bed.
• Tell him that you want him to report to you when he finishes his chores.
• Go with him to inspect his work. Don't be surprised if he doesn't like the idea. It doesn't matter. You are the parent.

If your child continues to run out to play before doing his chores, tell him you will take away his playtime for two days. He won't like that either. It still doesn't matter. Remember you are the parent.

Your next task is to follow through, check his work, and take away his playtime if necessary.

One more thing, compliment him on what he did well. After all you want him to take pride in his work.

Become an expert parent. If you liked these parenting tips, add more parenting tips to your parenting skills by checking out my:

Parenting Skills Kit

Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

What parenting questions would you like to ask? When I receive your question, I'll send you a parenting surprise. Just email me at:

Jean Tracy's Email

Best wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

Subscribe to our Free Parenting Newsletter at

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive

80 fun activities to share with your kids.