A disorganized child lacks the inner self-discipline needed for solid learning. A youngster who lives in a chaotic home may feel scattered and have trouble focusing. A daily routine at home can help.
Attention Span – The Boy Who Couldn’t Concentrate
Years before I became a child and family counselor, I taught school. Ricky sat in the back of my second grade class of fifty students. He played with toys, teased kids near him, and day-dreamed. My efforts in the classroom were not enough to focus him. The school lacked important resources like counseling.
In addition, Ricky came from a chaotic home. Breakfast, dinner, family time, chores and a set time for homework didn’t exist. Ricky fended for himself.
His mother said, “I’m tired of mothering.” Ricky was the youngest of several children.
Ricky’s noisy home-life needed a daily schedule because children succeed best with predictable routines. Without them, kids often feel insecure, uncertain, and mentally scattered.
Disorganized Children - How to Develop a Homework Routine
Help your child focus and succeed in school. You’ll find lot’s of ideas including parenting guidelines for rewards, consequences, and even a contract to help your child become more organized and successful. It's a FREE slide share. Just click on each slide.
It’s not difficult to raise smarter children. But many parents use the wrong tactics. They don’t know praising kids for goods grades and criticizing them for poor grades can backfire.
Why Praise and Criticism Often Fail
Research says many kids want praise so much that they limit themselves to easier tasks. Why? Because they know they’ll succeed. It’s not the way to expand their brain power.
Criticizing kids for poor grades can increase their low self-esteem, fire up their resentment, and convince them to give up.
Kids need to know that their brains grow with deeper thinking, solving problems, studying well. Don’t let them think, “I can’t get it. I’m not smart.”
"You challenged yourself and figured it out!"
How Parents Can Prepare Kids for School
Want to increase your child’s brain power? Today's slide share includes 6 smart attitudes to promote, 6 smart questions to ask, and 6 slogans for motivating kids.
Praising kids for good grades is not as effective as asking the right questions to increase your child’s love of learning. When your children feel good about their thinking skills, see learning as a positive challenge, and develop a determination to keep trying, their brains grow. Use these simple fun solutions for promoting smart brains in your children.
One more thing, these questions can be used for kids sports, music lessons, chores and more.
"I solved a hard problem and my brain got smarter!"
Listening to tattling is like scratching a swollen mosquito bite. If you listen to it over and over, it will get worse. Tattling becomes your child’s habit. Screaming becomes your cure, but only for the moment.
There is a better way. Today we’ll show a video to stop the tattling. You’ll see within the video a father who asks his daughter,
“Are you trying to help or hurt your sister?”
If she’s tattling to get her sister in trouble, he tells her:
“Please try to solve the problem yourself. Then come back and tell me how you solved it.”
Two Parenting Goals for Problem-Solving
To increase problem-solving with your positive attention.
To decrease tattling.
Listening Is the Gift Your Child Wants
The Problem-Solving Gift
Imagine you’re the girl’s father. When she returns to share her solution, listen. Good listening is a hug without words. It is filled with your attention. It is peaceful and loving. It is your gift to her.
How Listening Shows Caring:
Good listening avoids judging or arguing. It really wants to know your child’s thoughts and feelings. If there is something you don’t understand, ask questions after she’s done speaking.
Here is what you might say when your child shares her solution:
Let’s talk about your solution.
What voice did you use and what did you say?
How did it end?
How did you feel after you solved it?
What do you need to do to avoid a conflict next time?
What do you think of your becoming a problem-solver?
Can you guess how proud I am of you?
In the end, you want your child to be able to say, “ You really listened. You really care about how I think.”
Listening is a gift that can be used over and over in many different situations, not just tattling. Why? Because listening with love is what your child wants. It creates a bond with your child and harmony in your home. Yes, it takes more time and it is rewarding. It is a great way to teach problem-solving.
This brief video shares more ways to stop the tattling:
Is your tattletale kid driving you crazy? Do you know why your child tattles? Today, we will share 4 big reasons kids snitch, 3 important questions to ask, and simple ways to stop the tattling and keep your sanity.
Some Reasons for Tattling Behavior:
Kids tattle on brothers and sisters because they want your attention and approval. Some children want power over a younger child. Others want to get back at a sibling. Younger kids want your pity and hugs. They all want you to take their side.
When They Tattle, What Will You Do?
Advice and Answers: What Parents Need to Teach Kids Who Tattle
Children need to know the difference between helping and hurting. Helping siblings who have a serious problem or are in danger needs a parent’s attention. It is not tattling when kids tell parents about danger.
Tattling hurts because its goal is to get a sister or brother in trouble. Tattling prompts parents to yell in frustration. When that happens, the tattling problem does not get solved and bad feelings linger within the family.
Teaching kids to help their siblings and not hurt them has tons of benefits. Children learn to play well together. Laughter and cooperation grow. The family atmosphere is pleasant.
Disaster news is everywhere. TV, newspapers, social media and even billboard reminders are appearing in some places.
Children are home. Parents are home. Everyone is scared.
Today's 3 Practical Parenting Steps:
Review the 9 listening skills.
Learn the drawing technique by using it to calm yourself first.
Teach the drawing technique to your child.
9 Listening Skills Effective Parents Need
Review the following listening tips:
Listen with direct eye contact, a caring smile and both ears.
Ask questions to be sure you understand.
Be patient. Give enough time for your child to form thoughts.
Repeat your child's ideas in your own words. Follow up with, “Is that correct?”
Encourage continued sharing by saying, “Tell me more.”
Walk in your child's shoes. With empathy try to feel what he’s feeling.
Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Listen to the end.
Share your thoughts after your child's finished..
Begin by reflecting feelings. “It sounds like you’re (upset or sad or confused, etc.).”
You Are the Best Counselor for Your Kids
Kids Trust Parents to Help Them
As a counselor for many years, I’ve used the drawing strategy below with children and adults. It works. Why? Because it's a unique way of understanding feelings, especially fears.
When you listen well, teach practical skills and show caring, your child trusts you and feels loved. Love and trust make you the most powerful counselor of all.
9 Ways Parents Can Calm Themselves and Their Children
Drawing Calms Your Kid's Anxiety
Ask your boy or girl to, “Draw a picture of the fear.”
Probe Gently: “What does your picture mean to you?”
Say, “Tell me more,” several times until you hear all the anxious thoughts.
Say, “Draw how you would like to feel.” Then say, “Tell me about your new picture.”
Suggest, “Let's brainstorm what you could do to make your picture come true.” Wait patiently for your child’s ideas first.
Say, “Write down 3 small ways you can make your positive picture come true.
Say, “Pick one little step to try now."
Instruct your child, "Visualize your new picture clearly. Feel it and give it a positive title. Then post it on the fridge." Give your child all the time he or she needs.
Praise your child for calming his fear.
Discuss the second and third small steps in the following days to reinforce over time what has been learned.
Drawing an optimistic picture gives your child power over the fear. By visualizing it, feeling it and giving it a positive title, your child changes his scary mindset. Posting it on the fridge becomes a strong reminder to "stay calm and carry on." Use this technique as often as your child needs.
Consider applying it for any painful emotion your child may experience. You could even use it as a home schooling strategy.
You might like this video because it also reinforces the steps:
How Parents Help Anxious Kids Feel Confident
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